Tollywood

Recently I was goin through a frnds profile on fb. Basically there is this frnd of mine who is now a hero in his own movie.He is the producer too. He has already produced a couple of movies in Telugu nd Kannada.

So coming to the point. There is this telugu website gulte.com which writes abt all masala nd crisp news.

So on this website they had written abt my frnd saying everybody has to learn from him on hw to waste his dad's money efficiently.

So my frnd is really disturbed nd takes it dil pe and replies it saying wt do the website ppl who write all tht shit know like hw much hardwork goes into making movies. I dont deny the fact tht a lot of hard work goes into making a commercial telugu movie. But for wt reason is my question.

In making money nd wanting desperately to be famous, I feel the whole essence of movie making is lost. Im not blaming one person but as a whole industry which is I dont know hw old, the whole essence of making a movie has been lost over the years.

Movie is nothin but a video format of something u wanna tell. so to show it in a interesting manner nd to capture the attention of the viewer is wt a gud movie is all abt.

So u need a script, camera work, nd money to make the movie.

lets talk abt the script.

There was a time when scripts were taken from novels. A writer spends a few years in making characters nd writing a story around it. Scripts today r written in unbelievably short time. The reason: there is already a movie which was a hit commercially and the same thing is repeated with diff presentation nd on a few occasions not even tht . thts it. No surprise tht one man does direction, script, music direction, editing, nd wt not. So is this hard work tht my frnd claims. Again I dont deny tht there is a lot of hard work tht goes into making a movie. But wt quality of hard work. Nd y make such low grade movies tht suck nd listen to all the crap tht writers like me nd others give u. No wonder I havent seen a good telugu movie in recent history. Finally a script is something where creativity goes in, not by ppl who have money nd know hw to direct.

Actors:

Motherfuckers. one word says it all. U r the son of a hero or a rich guy nd there u r. The hero of a movie.So much bad acting goes into telugu movies tht its astonishing. I shud rather say bad over acting. I havent watched a telugu movie for a good time. Reason. I cant take tht shit anymore. Goin to a movie scolding the hero, nd pitying myself for watching such a movie. Naa, its not wt I need. Nd I havent still spoken abt time or money.

Fights:

There is nothing like laws of physics. The fights deny all of em. A smaller body hits a larger body(talking abt the mass) at the same speed nd the larger body flies off in air. Einstein wud have killed himself. The makers of such films claim its fiction. I believe fiction has to be in the story not in the fight. Ridiculous man.

Enough said abt our movies. I think in all the writing I had done, Im using 'our' for the first time. Nd there is a reason. Cos I feel personal. Since I speak Telugu nd I associate myself to these fking movies. nnnnnnnd I realised there has to be an end. Cos our movies r just.......... .

usa: The experience

Strange facts tht just cant go into my brain for the one yr of my stay in the US.

--->ppl growing up in a nation for 20 odd yrs where cricket is religion nd sachin is god talk abt american football like crazy nd tht too during a cricket game in the middle of the pitch.

--->Fuckers dont realize its not ur accent tht lets ppl know tht u r Indian but ur color.

--->Gals all of a sudden like in 24 hrs wid boeing become sexy, hot nd cute.

--->Dick heads just to prove themselves better than others make conversations in English wid Englishmen wid an accent of their own league.

--->Gals trying hard to be cute just become the most annoying things on this planet nd may be if god was there...it wud have made him think twice.WHY

--->Guys have such a wrong impression on the gals born in the US tht they finger everyone possible nd end up hurting themselves fighting their much stronger boyfrnds.

--->u r in the US doin a job which barely earns u $ 1000 nd u go public in india saying u earn 50k. I am still trying to explain myself on the relation.

--->an engineer in India doin his masters here multiplies a 3 by 1 nd a 3 by 3 matrix nd gets a result of a 3 by 3 matrix. seriously man i got to kill myself to see all these.

This is not all. There are many things tht astonish me. nd I found a beautiful solution. pass on them not involving my thinking process

I know how to save the world!!!

OOH YES!!!! I did it. I have found the solution to mankind's biggest challenge. Climate catastrophe is avertable and the deterrent is WOMEN. 

Yes, its true!! We don't have to drive around in miserable cars that run on Air-juice, or row a boat to work, or even worse, Walk, to save the planet. We don't need to plant CACTI in our gardens to reduce carbon footprints, or eat them even. Eating meat might add to Global warming, but don't worry; let the cows fart in peace, all that Methane cant harm us anymore, for    I   Have   The    Answer.

No, its not reducing carbon emissions, wind turbines, eye-sickening fluorescent lamps, recycling toilet rolls into face wipes, or cars built out of Nano-engineered pubes. The answer couldn't be simpler. Send women back to homes. Relieve them from all sorts of jobs. Yes send them home to how they were living a 100 years ago. I know, I sound like a chauvinistic male pig but its true. If we have to survive the impending Apocalypse this is the only option I am afraid. 

Snatch the Laser pointers from their fingers, computers from their desks. Tear to bits their disgusting Business Attires, and break the pointy heels off their shoes that make the most annoying noise in the world. Set fire to their SUV's (trust me, do it, SUV's themselves don't like being driven by women.) and finally throw all their credit cards in to the fire(Oh, don't forget the cell phone and the handbag). 

This will need a lot of courage and effort from us men, but we have to do it for the future of the planet. For all the poor, helpless, "cute", Polar bears that are desperately hanging by one paw off the last iceberg that will melt any minute. For all the hundreds of innocent species of slimy frogs and creepy crawlies we have never heard of, that will become extinct. For all your loved ones living in coastal cities who will drown to death or be eaten by sharks when the sea levels rise, lets do this. For the future, lets do this. For the glory of human species, lets do this.
To save ourselves from the unbearable defamation that: We are an idiotic species that has put an end to life on this planet just because we were too lazy to walk, eat fresh food, take a shower and post a letter. That instead, we chose to drive around in machines that drank oil and gave out cancer inducing farts, and that we bought frozen food and stored them in freezers which drilled holes to the ozone, and that we chose to spray ourselves with lavender flavored Freons instead of a taking a bath. The future will also laugh at us for sending 1000's of  disastrously polluting communication satellites when we could have simply posted a letter or sent a telegram. But do you realize men, that its not your mistake?

Do you realize that we could have saved the planet long ago? Lemme explain.

Read Part II

I know how to save the world.....contd..

Right.......lemme explain my theory. You see..........the whole problem is...... The omnipresent paranoia about the climate, and associated campaigns about global warming and complete environmental  annihilation, have created a kind of hysteria in us. We are told that the only way to survive Armageddon is by turning ourselves into, tree hugging, cloud kissing, grass eating environMENTAList's.  And now after Copenhagen debacle, we have lost all hope and have come to a conclusion that, its better to kill ourselves before the sharks come and eat us.

Stop nodding like a donkey to whatever is told and think logically for a minute. I know "logical thinking" is hard, especially if, you ever went to a business school, or have read a single page from any kind of "Management" Literature, or if you watch the news regularly or if you have ever set foot in the United States of Americaland.......(dumbness is infectious the last time I checked). THINK people, THINK. When did the whole Global warming and environmental crisis start? How did it start? and more importantly whom did it start for?

Let me try and get to my point without frustrating you any further. I'll tell you how this dire issue can be resolved by answering these questions.

When did the whole Global warming and environmental crisis start?

Its agreeable that it all started during the Industrial Revolution, which itself was a result of the world wars. What happened after the wars is very interesting. All the technology that was invented and fine tuned to mass production during the wars was lying useless and then, someone, some avaricious bastard did the biggest mistake in history. He figured he could make household goods with the same machines and sell them incredibly cheap. But what he chose to manufacture has sealed the future of Humanity. He chose to make appliances that would help women in their daily chores. Don't call him a kind gentleman yet, keep reading. Kind or not, his products were a great success and thanks to the unbeatable marketing tool called "women's mouth" such products gained unimaginable popularity and demand. Soon every bugger was making completely redundant products like gas cookers, washing machines, dish washers sewing machines and all the rest. With time, the demand for, mass produced products that were unimaginably diverse, multiplied and notably, almost all of them were made for women.

You cant deny that, everything that the industrial revolution has introduced is meant for women. All we got is the electric shaver. That's it. But even that was made because, we had to look like pretty boys to please the ladies. Its for them that we chose to groom ourselves like plucked chicken. Back in the day, mullets and stubble's were the IN stuff. Men even wore pigtails for fucks sake. We dint care much about how we looked, until, the women saw some clean shaved, well waxed, smug looking posh boy in a few movies and advertising handouts and decided that all men should look like him to qualify as a civilized creature. And we obeyed.

Oh yes of course you might say the AUTOMOBILE was surely made for men. And that its the biggest culprit. That the car is evil and that its going to kill us all. We have all arbitrarily decided that the car has to to be punished for its crimes of polluting the Universe and making polar bears homeless.  The punishment it seems, is to ban petrol and run cars on Methane (which technically is animal fart), or air, some say vacuum, others say electricity , I say why not by power of "thought" or hey... pregnant monkeys' piss may be as good.

But think for a second before you blame the Automobile. Its the single most amazing innovation in all of human history. Its the ultimate manifestation of human creativity, intellect, vision and craftsmanship. Too bad we cant save it from extinction. Its destined to rust and end its glory in Museums and preschool coloring books. But what has it really done to deserve such a demise? What?

You see, cars were made basically to replace horse drawn carriages. Not just any carriage, but the ginormous, bling-mobiles drawn by 4 horses which, inevitably ended up shitting all over the rich peoples drive ways. So in order to avoid the embarrassment of stepping in horse shit, and smelling like it, at posh dinner parties, the super rich and the blue bloods found car to be a great alternative. Her Majesty the queen of Britain being an exception, soon everybody who was anybody in the society had a car. It was a symbol of prestige. It would have stayed so if it were not for our dear friend from the America screwed it all up(quite obvious considering his nationality). Henry Ford is his name and some think he's smart. I doubt.

Many people plainly believed when he told that he started the first mass production car Model-T in the 1920's because, he wanted to see everyone being able to buy a car. HE WAS LYING.

To be contd.......

I know how to save the world.....contd......contd...

I should apologize for taking too long to get to the point and also how big this whole post is getting.....but please read on....

Right...........Henry Ford didn't start mass production because he had a vision of an affordable automobile but he did so to put an end to a common problem faced by men. You know, back then, after the industrial revolution kicked in, thousands of gadgets that make life easy for women have been made and women had too much time left, to do......well......nothing. All the time consuming activities were now just a few button presses and knob turns. And this made women very bored creatures. So they started to have rows with their husbands. And the most frequent moaning topic for women was that their husbands never came home early. They complained that their men wouldn't come home on time, the same time, every fuckin day. So to save themselves from the pain, men replaced horses with cars as they were more reliable. And if one family had a car, the rest of the womankind would hen-peck their husbands into buying one. So the need for cheap mass produced cars has created the rapid increase in automobiles. 

It should also be noted that most early auto ads had glamorous, minimally dressed women displaying erotism to car owners. A kind of hidden message that says "Buy the car, Get the girl for fee", not very different from AXE's ad campaign. Needless to say, men fell for it and looked at cars as "bird pulling" devices.

Another reason for the raise in car population is that, suddenly there was a much bigger and more expensive list of items that became basic amenities. Like washing machines, refrigerators, cookers, boiled egg slicers, toasters, hair straighteners, blenders, tinned food etc, weren't very cheap and all appliances needed loads of electricity. And hence the average expenses of families increased exponentially. So the poor men of the time had to work more, travel further to find jobs and also manage to get home on time. As men worked harder and longer women were having too much free time. This is when something revolutionary happened. Someone at Philip Morris taught that if they somehow created a brand for cigarettes made only for women they could make loads of money. This is the culmination of the run up to disaster. They created an ad campaign to sell Virginia SLIMS that was deeply FEMINIST. Their ads villianized men, portrayed them as cruel, bossy "deprivers" of women’s rights. I looked up on Wikipedia and found their slogans: "You've come a long way, baby", "It's a woman thing", "Find your voice." and A report by the Surgeon General of the United States has interpreted these marketing strategies as attempting to link smoking "to women's freedom, emancipation, and empowerment." This is an evil thing to do. Women fell for it and taught that they were created for the same purpose as men, and they started to fight for equality; the rest is quite predictable. 

Added to the continuous boredom at home and to prove a point that they were equal, women started to work, and left behind forever the very important responsibility that evolution gave them; TAKING CARE OF THE WORLD. Taking care of nature, of its beauty and balance. I am a strong believer in the theory of evolution, it’s the way nature fine tunes all its creations. You might call this God, but the point is, everything in nature is there for a purpose, with significance. Nature doesn't make mistakes. Women are made physically weaker than men because they were never supposed to hunt, run after deer, fight or carry boars or whatever over shoulders. Women are made slender, so that they can be carried around easily by men in case of danger. OK, that was an exaggeration, but you get my point don't you. The female species of humans is designed to make and take care of the offspring's and homes. Men were built to find food and defend their families; at least that was the idea. 

Women by nature are meticulous and caring. They are good at things that are stereotyped as atrocities committed against them. The concept that cooking and housekeeping are derogatory and that they are not as respectful as going to work like men, is preposterous. Even if work in most cases is, sitting in a chair alone, behind a desk with a telephone, wearing waay too much makeup and smiling welcomingly(not a real word) at complete strangers or simply sit with a constant expression of surprise (raised eyebrows and eyes wide open), women do them. What jobs were women doing until the recent past? Clerks, PA's, receptionists, glamour girls selling drilling equipment? What’s this? How are these more respectful? How are these jobs liberating? 

I completely understand that in some cases it’s more of a compulsion than a choice to work. I completely agree that it’s very nice of them to give a hand to the man at earning money. But I also think such men who need help are ineligible to marry in the first place.  

So if you have followed what i was trying to say, you will have understood that: 

The industrial revolution and the industrialization that caused climate change basically started to supply to women's needs and demands. 

Also due to a few mistakes made by money hungry bastards, women have started wrongly believing that they need to get liberated and stop doing what they were made to do. How exactly does this relate to saving the world???

Imagine the changes that would come if, women are sent home. Immediately, a huge amount of vehicle pollution will come down. Not just because they wouldn't be driving, but also because there'd be more room for men in public transport. All the toxic chemical factories that produce cosmetics will shut down. And, because women begin to find loads of time, frozen & processed food industry will collapse and with it, the enormous amount of power consumption. Also the other industries that make all the time saving, working-women friendly appliances will disappear, saving loads of power. Houses will have REAL plants again, and all those disgusting plastic twigs and fruits can be sent to save the depleting rain forests; or alternatively could be fed to calorie conscious people. We will have gardens with 100% organic vegetables and greens growing in them again. Women will gain back their ingenuity eventually, may be with a little help from women like my great grandmother.

My great grandmother is a pioneer in recycling technology and has mastered the concept of living in oneness with the nature. Let me give you a few examples.

She cooks in a wood fuelled stove; wood from dried coconut branches or just the nut's husk. If you think those stoves produce too much co2, lemme tell you it’s no more polluting than the overloaded kerosene fuelled auto which brings us gas cylinders. She uses the ashes as dish washing powder and dry grass and husk as scrubber.  She makes homemade hair oil and even "Bounty" bars, thanks to the coconut trees. I have seen her make DIY detergent bars using palm oil and soda; they look quite ugly but do the job perfectly. Also back in the days when plastic bags were science fiction, paper was used for packing. All that paper she'd soak in water and grind it in a pestle. This paste, she'd use like clay and make measuring cups!!! OK that was a bit too much I agree. And also because peelers weren't available back then, she'd make her own with river side clamshells. Yes, clamshells. The clamshell's curved top is rubbed to wear against a stone and due to the shape of the shell a razor sharp hole is formed. See, a peeler. She says she doesn't like plastic bags because they are not strong enough, but I think the reason is that they can’t be used or at least made in to something else when they are torn, Unlike her cloth homemade carriers. 

Things she did are both outlandish and very clever. More importantly, ECO FRIENDLY. I am sure she has contributed more to the environment in her 80+ years than all of those self minded maniacs who went and made a joke out of the Copenhagen Summit, but still call themselves world leaders in environmental policy making. If one woman could make such a difference, imagine the potential. Women can change the world. They truly can.

What must be realized is that, of the 8 billion people in the world, only 1% or less are contributors. Only 1%. They are the ones who help in the progress of our species; they contribute to the society, to better living, to the world. The rest of us on the other hand, we are just insignificant elements in an enormous machine. We are part of the world, we make the society and all but, our existence isn't all that important. Really, think about it. Most of us are here "living" only to keep the grand scheme of things running and are no way contributors to the society or world. It wouldn't make a difference to the humanity as a whole if you are a man or women, employed or unemployed, sane or insane, living or dead. So why fight about equality imagining that some duties are humiliating and degrading compared to others? We are all insignificant. 

What women did as housewives for thousands of years has brought us forward as a species. They have maintained a balance that has sustained the growth in civilizations' sophistication through time. We are what we are today, the most dominant species on the planet and probably the universe, only because of women and their contribution. But now, if women don't act quickly and embrace their earlier lifestyle we will become extinct, very much like the cute, fluffy, helpless polar bears.