In the search of myself.......... who knows me as i am

If any of you have read my previous post "Theory of everything", you can clearly see the influence of Vikram's writing style on me, I was being a Imitating package. So this time I am trying to be a genuine package.

I thought for a long time to come up with a topic which I can present well. But within a few minutes i came to realize that i don't have any original knowledge about anything. all my knowledge about any topic is borrowed, so to be a genuine package I thought of writing only about something which know directly. So i named the post as "In the search of myself". I am going to write a series of topics about my understanding and experience about every single aspect of 25years of my life. The first topic in the series is "Who knows me as I am".

In the beginning itself, I would like make a few things clear. The intention behind these writings is not to give you any information, not to give you any knowledge. This is purely about my exploration into myself. I am doing this with a hope that, writing might help me to understand myself better.

Let's get back to the topic of the day, "who knows me as I am". I have always wondered about this question, i have tried many times to find answers for this question.

In the entire world may be a hundred people know about my existence, but here i am trying to find out who knows me as I am. To give a better idea about different people's understanding about me, I would like to compare myself with ocean.

First section of people who know me are my relatives. What do they know about me is a pure zero. You must have seen the picture of earth taken from the space. The entire water body on earth (Oceans)looks blue in color. Thats how my relatives know me as a bluish thing.

Second section of people are my family members. What do they know about me? Imagine if you are living in a beach house, what would you know about the ocean? Thats exactly they know me. Their understanding about me is simple; there is water, there are winds and there are waves. They know about my favorite foods, players, heroes, writers etc. They know about my likes and dislikes, plans, works, hobbies etc. But surely they wont have any idea about my intentions, perversions, addictions etc.

Third section of people are you guys, friends. You are like the sailors on the ocean. you are the guys who can have a better understanding about me than anyone else. Interesting part is some of might call me 'smart' and some might refer to me as 'lost'. The reason is very simple, those who have come across my smartness call me smart, those who have come across my fickleness and wildness, would call me 'lost'. But only a few of you know me as both 'smart' and 'lost'. But again though you know me better than the rest of the world, i know the fact that you know very little about me.

But anyhow its just you bunch of people who know me better. Thats the only reason,i chose this place to write all these things down.

Getting back to the topic of the day, there is no one in this big world to know me as i am. So basically i am a person without a proper identity. Which makes me think for a while, whats all this nonsense? this looks like a identity crisis to me. May be its time that I should start working in the opposite direction. Rather than worrying about who knows me as i am, i will start working on what do i know about myself.

Thats what this series all about. Exploring myself while giving you a choice to know me better only if you are interested.

Next post would be "In the search of myself.......... what is Love?"

Thanks for reading,
An anonymous package.